caged bird- like i said, it took me many years of believing the letters, the words, not expecting actions and relying on hollow promises BEFORE i got to the 'stick to my resolve' point. i guess i had to exhaust all hope before i could believe i could really "give up". don't beat yourself up if you can't stick to your resolve right now... you're doing the best you can at the present time and i know that the more i told myself "i should...." the harder it was for me to do what i needed to.
i'm glad my post of was of some help... i have many times found that i came on here and read a post that was just what i needed at just that time...