I am undecided...
...about quitting drinking or not. Most of the time I am in control of it. I love beer very much. I am no talking cheap, tasteless beer. I am talking full flavored Rasputin, Kasteel, Racer 5 IPA. I am a beer connoisseur. I love it so much I started brewing my own beer!
The problem is everyone once in a while, at least once a twice a month I like to binge drink, and at least once to three times per year I like to get smashed. For example last night I went to a friends surprise party and bought a bottle of wine. I was going to stay a couple hours and head back home to study. I have been studying ridiculously hard (I have five classes) so I said what the hell I will unwind a bit. A couple hours turned into eight, and a few drinks turned into 10-13! My girl drove home, at this point I don't remember anything. I went to restroom, I ended up throwing up on floor, jeans, shirt. I was to belligerent to clean anything up so I started spreading everything. I jumped in shower with my clothes, I fell asleep with the shower on. Mind you the drain is not working properly so he tub was filled enough to if I would have slipped under I may have drowned. My girlfriend woke me up from shower 3 hours later, and obviously was pissed off. She was speaking to me but I was so out of it I could barely make out what she was saying to me.
Stupidity like this makes me so angry with myself (this is just ONE instance). I needed to study today but I couldn't for most of the day because I was recuperating, so it was a waste! I am disappointed in myself because I am in general a smart guy. I want to stop, but at the same time I don't; I am not sure if that makes sense??? I have about 30 delicious beers that I made in the garage, and four store bought ones. I like to have a beer or wine sometimes with dinner. Or if I am studying and my head hurts I open up a bottle and study for hours. I don't these instances are the problem. The problem is getting stupid drunk and doing stupid things. But that could just be my alcoholic mind clouding my mind to having a drinking problem.