I'm an addict and was addicted to heroin myself for years.

I remember lying to my boyfriend about my use. Everything I ever told him about my use was a lie.

Know this: from my own experience, addicts do not lie because they somehow get a sick pleasure from manipulating others. That simply isn't the case. We lie for one reason, and one reason only, and that is so we could continue to get high.

I felt terrible after I lied to my boyfriend about my use. I felt like the scum of the earth. But I was so incredibly hooked I had convinced myself that living without heroin would have made everything worse.

You see, here's the thing about us "manipulative" addicts. We aren't just lying and manipulating those around us. Were lying and manipulating ourselves. Our addictions are experts at manipulating our own minds so we continue using.

That said, I don't think your boyfriend will be able to stop any time soon. I truly believe that most heroin addicts need to hit a very low bottom before we can stop. Heroin creates in us such a powerful great feeling that it takes an equally low bottom before we truly realize we can no longer use. Most addicts need the immediate decision to quit to be made for them by their circumstances, like homelessness.

Your boyfriend is on the titanic. Whether you want to stay on the sinking ship with him or not is truly up to you. But as long as you don't use and as long as you don't enable him to use you shouldn't be harming him or yourself. You could actually be one of the few positive people in his life. He will never be able to quit for your sake. That is not to make him sound selfish. Most addicts can't even quit for their own sake.

You have to decide for yourself what to do. I've never met either of you. As a recovering addict myself, I don't think I could stay with an addict. The disease is too selfish. As much as he wishes he could, he will not be able to give you the amount of attention he feels he needs to give to heroin right now. Hopefully if you choose to leave him, it will make his descent towards his bottom much faster so he can quit soon.

Addiction is pretty selfish, but not by choice. I have been reading this forum a lot, and a lot of you relatives/spouses of addicts seem to think that we addicts gain some sick pleasure from lying, manipulating, and stealing from you. From my own experience, I hated doing all of those things. And I never do any of those things now that I'm sober. But in my addiction, I truly felt like I didn't even had a choice. I was convinced that if I didn't use I would die, somehow. So please don't demonize us. Addicts are going through our own personal, unique hell that by the grace of god you will never have to experience for yourselves.