While I agree that Alanon is always a positive plan of action I agree with the other poster that your fear response was conditioned (like Pavlov's famous bell ringing experiments proved) and your body and mind responded in a very normal fashion.
It is great that your A is doing well at this time but as we all know relapse is always a possibility and quite frankly are the norm for the great majority of alcoholics in recovery ... hence the saying "relapse is a part of recovery".
There is a lot of disagreement over the truth or logic of that saying and I am not suggesting that it is a part of recovery but it is a fact that most alcoholics DO relapse and those of us who love or are in permanent relationships with A's (marriage is temporary but divorce with children is forever) SHOULD consider how to handle potential relapse situations.
I would not feel guilty about the assumption that it was an A related problem as there wasn't any other logical reason you were being summoned but you are right that a goal might be to work on the "fear" response to the request.
Are you exceedingly fearful of a relapse? This used to be my MO... I was consumed with fear that my A would relapse so I spent all of my energies and time devoting myself to preventing it!
Please keep us posted... it is so good to hear positive reports and it sounds like things are going well for all of you!