Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 4
I just can't grasp the fact that every drug addict is a lost cause and should lose everyone and everything and just say "oh well, he's on his own"? Or have people around to help give him support. And he does want to get clean, I can tell. He saw that he was about to lose me and everything else in his life and it made him wake up, but I'm sure there are addicts on here that can say how hard it is. I know I need to think of myself, and I am in the long run. I appreciate the advice.
Oh boy has he got you blindfolded.
First, no matter what he 'says' he is lying. He will use words to MANIPULATE you into believing he 'really wants recovery.'
When his persistent and prolonged ACTIONS SHOW CHANGE IN HIM then and only then will you know he is on the road to recovery.
He is NOT in recovery. And as to what he has 'said he has used and when' multiply that by at least 10 times and you will be closer to the truth.
YOU CANNOT HELP HIM. Only HE can HELP HIMSELF. Your encouragement? Your love? Posh. Just means he still has someone to manipulate.
Now, those that can help him and will definitely call him on his BS, and yes he is full of BS right now, are others ALREADY CLEAN AND SOBER and living a CLEAN AND SOBER LIFE.
As said above. Work on you. Go to Alanon and/or Naranon, find therapy with an 'addiction specialist' that will understand both sides of the 'throes of addiction', get and read CoDependent No More by Melodie Beattie, and that will be the BEST SUPPORT YOU CAN GIVE HIM.
I do not say this out of meanness. I say this from 30+ years of continuous recovery from drugs and alcohol and from 27+ years of continuous recovery from my codependency issues.
An A has to find his or her own bottom and that bottom is usually NOT 'cushy.' So your A may have a ways to go yet. The sooner an A is allowed to TOTALLY and COMPLETELY start feeling and continue to feel the CONSEQUENCES of their actions, the closer come to their own bottom.
Please keep reading on here, all 'the stickys' at the top of this forum, new and old threads.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care so very much.
Love and hugs,