Thanks Mike and Freedom. I did go to a few al anon meetings. The people were very nice, I even found one meeting that I felt I could fit in (it was a big group though and a little far). But I am very uncomfortable talking about my feelings and thoughts in front of people. Individual therapy worked for me but speaking in front of lots of people intimidates me. Just now realized something, I prefer small groups, not big ones.. so need to look for such small groups..There is also the matter of looking for a group that also has childcare or I need to find childcare for the kids when I go there.
I think currently I am not doing anything (no Alanon, no reading books, no therapy)and that is not helping at all..I do have lots of excuses - it is crazy busy at work, kids started school, divorce going on, lots of other stuff to take care of in addition to the day to day responsiblities.. But they are excuses and I need to put care of myself first (still struggling with this one as well..)