Still here, still sober. Lost my mother last week at age 65 to pneumonia. She had been suffering from a rare quick acting genetic dementia. I believe she knew where that was going to take her when she chose to deny the antibiotics (we both saw how this disease took my great aunt from us).
The last day Mom and I spent together was a blessed one. First, I let her know that if comfort care was her wish, I would respect it to the end. The message was "We are a team". I brought in my mom's favorite song: I had ripped a copy off of YouTube onto my phone and played it for her. I cried. She was so filled with joy that I even remembered that song from 30 years before. She told me she was scared. I rubbed her feet and told her I loved her and it was going to be okay. I made a little list of comfort items to bring the next day. Then I said goodbye and before I could bring those items to her, she had passed. She stopped breathing while asleep early in the morning.
Now I'm planning her celebration of life, notifying family as I can (she lost many items in the few months the dementia set in).
The beauty is that I was able to be there for my mother, and other loved ones of hers. I am able to sit here now, type this and cry without needing to blot out my emotions with drugs and alcohol.