I am so damned angry
In the past couple of days I've been filled with anger. Normally I think I'm pretty placid, but in the past week, well:
1. Someone's messing around at work and jeoparising a project that's important to me. Now he's alleging that I was "hostile" because I flat-out refused to clean up a mess he created. It may or may not just blow over.
2. I realise that when AH had a similar problem at his work I was nothing but sweetness and sympathy and tea--and he still used it as an excuse to go on a week-long self-pity drinking binge.
3. I made the mistake of confiding in Mom and she was in one of her moods, she ended up saying, 'Well, you just need to put yourself in the shoes of the other person. You have to see things from the other side!' Which was exactly what I *didn't* need to hear: yes, most of the time it's good to be conciliatory, but in those rare instances when someone's actually messing with you, you need support in standing up for yourself. I shouldn't have called her but--
4. There is *no one* *no one* I can think of to ask for help in this. I'm just too embarassed, or something. Everyone I've interacted with this weekend I've given the plastered-on cheerful smile.
So I'm just sitting here filled with anger. I've given myself a twitch in the hand. I literally can't calm down. I've done all the things you're supposed to do: had my run with friends yesterday, did my errands and some baking today, bought myself some flowers. Still, nothing is helping.
Not sure what I'm asking for. Is there a secret to getting the calm feeling back?