Do you think it is possible that your H and his mother keep finding things to do that annoy you because it bothers you? Do you think that they believe that, as long as you are concentrating on all the things they are doing, you won't have an opportunity to concentrate on anything else and you'll be as messed up as they are?
Breec, you've mentioned a few times that your H's mother brings gifts over to the house for Bree but not for your other children. This makes you really angry. Why does that make you angry? You're not the one who's hurting the other children's feelings. The grandmother is the one who is the bad guy. It's not anything that you did. Why do you feel like you have to step in and say anything or do anything?
Think about that - it's really important.
What if, when the grandmother brought over a present, you just stayed out of it and didn't get upset? It's not between you and the grandmother. It's between the grandmother and your kids. What if you just said to yourself - "She's not being very nice. I didn't expect her to be nice. There's nothing I can do about it." Then go on with your life. Your kids will see that she's not being nice, Bree will see that it isn't nice, even your H will see that it isn't nice. There isn't any reason to point it out.
That was my first step in working on my codie issues. I had to learn to stop owning everything that happened in my world. A lot of it was not my business. It's not easy and I still mess up occasionally. BUT I am way better than I was before. I can't control and fix everything.
L