I just had to reply. I have posted awhile ago. But here I am again.
I have been through those roller coaster emotions many times when my AH has left a few times. The most recently in June.
Now he is living in the basement and I borrowed the money for a divorce lawyer finally. I spoke with her. Now it's just to go actually through it.
I've come to the point where I know that there is no rationalizing with him. I've looked up verbal/emotional abuse online and see alot of similiarities with him and what i read. I know he is not capable of loving himself so how can he love me, his wife, or his children? I have finally "detached" i guess is the word that I just want him out of our lives.
I no longer engage in his blame game or whatever else he has to say. He tries to sucker me in and the next breath I'm to blame for whatever. I am just not playing into anymore.
I know it's easier said than done. It's been up and down for over 4 years. I'm no perfect angel but I was basically reacting to whatever he was doing and maybe what I did wasn't right but I know why I did those things.
I pray that you will find the happiness you deserve and not the sadness. You are a good person. This is a disease. A progressive one. In my case the alcohol just makes his verbal abuse worse. He was always a verbal abuser. Just didn't get it until recently.
I don't know how old your daughter is, but my kids are 16 and I should have left years ago. I know my kids have been affected by all this. Now is my time to help my children and make them my first priority. My dd made me really open my eyes and it was just so sad to hear her say it.
Please, do what's best for your daughter. She needs you the most.
<<<Hugs>>>