Please no matter what you do, don't give up!!! It's not hopeless, I can promise you that wholeheartedly. I was very much where you are less than a month ago, only instead of visitng a site like this, I was planning to end everything and calling a suicide hotline.
Is it easy? Of course not, it's probably one of the hardest things you will ever do, but a friend of mine from AA (I am back in the fellowship after saying "it's not for me" a mere three years ago and many times before that) told me to practice looking at your reflection every day and saying out loud, "Theresa, you are a good person. It's worth it and YOU'RE worth it."
That is not to say that the AA fellowship is the right way for you, it may well not be. But there are many other options to choose.
And the folks here are wonderful and are playing a huge role as well in my recovery. But don't overwhelm yourself either. Take it one baby step at a time, if you quit drinking to start, it's the beginning of a wonderful journey of how to live again, without the booze.
I talked to a lady tonight from my home group, and said "this is teaching me how to live all over again." She said "no honey it's teaching you how to LIVE." Pretty powerful stuff but she's right.
Hugs, hang in there!!!