I still hurt so much every day. One thing I have discovered about crying is that I always stuffed it before because everyone around me wants the best for me, and they would say, "Don't cry over him, he's not worth it". Well, if I feel like crying now, and I'm driving or alone, I just do, feel better, and the sadness lifts. If I don't get it out, it's worse. I have to do my half hour of AlAnon reading in the morning and then I journal how I'm feeling. Always thought that wasn't important --boy, was I wrong, I've almost written an entire book already! I go down the list of my AlAnon group and call someone if I'm sad; if they can't talk, I move down the list. When you are lonely, write a gratitude list of your blessings, even though you don't feel like it. And most importantly, always remind yourself to look at all of your reality with him, not just the moments you want to remember. Things will pop into my head, and I will say to myself, "Oh yeah, he trashed my self-esteem that time.." I surely don't miss giving him my power to control how I feel about myself. For me, he caught me at a vulnerable time in my life; honestly, if I had been feeling better about ME when we met, the giant red flags would have been much more apparent; I just chose to not see them...