Thread: Losing my cool
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Old 08-19-2011, 05:51 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
michaelsgirl
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: TX
Posts: 21
Wanttobehealthy,

I want to pray for you and hope you find peace in this. I know what you are going through as I have been in the same situation before. I cant tell you how you feel because I am not you...every situation is different. People shouldnt judge you...and I think we are all here to help you. I know I was in a bad marriage...he wasnt a alcoholic but when he did drink he became violent and became some other person that I just didnt understand...the divorce was nasty and his new wife hates my guts for whatever reason (no kids between us) I have 2 from previous marriage...but they looked to him as a father figure and there were times where he was physically and ALWAYS mentally abusive in front of my kids...i am glad that marriage is over and when you get to a point where you cant talk to him, you cant trust him and you just want him DEAD...its time to let go and let GOD!!! Pray for him...Forgive him and you will be a much happier person!!! HE may be a jerk and a creep but that just means you deserve better...we all do. We shouldnt have to live like this and I made the decision to move on...even though I loved him very much...and believe it or not...but now I am with someone that is a alcoholic but I know how to deal with it and he has been sober for almost a month andI am going to Al-Anon...if anything its helping me deal with me...I am 36 years old and I have NEVER been able to focus on me...its always been about that MAN in my life...and a week ago I decided that NO MAN is going to keep me from being there for my kids and keeping them safe and happy and then I decided I deserve that too...and now I am living my life for me...if my current MAN wants to be a part of it SOBER...then i am all for it...if he chooses not to...oh well...we cant control them, we cant make them do anything because we did they would only being doing it for us and they have to want to do it for them or its pointless...my suggestion to you (only a suggestion) is you let go and let GOD and remember...no words that your husband says are going to hurt you...not in private, public or in court. He is going to say things to you to hurt you and I am sure its working because we love our MEN so much that we dont want to believe they would hurt us until its too late. I wouldnt get a restraining order on him unless he has physically hurt you or the kids or threatening you to do so...I would simply act like he doesnt matter and let him live his life...ignore his texts, ignore his phone calls...and take NOTES on every little thing...because I guarantee you he isnt...MEN dont do that (no offense to you men)...not many men do that let me say that. Women are more organized and we tend to remember everything...especially the bad things that hurt so much...you keep a journal each day in a spiral notebook for a month...after that month go back and read what you wrote on day one...and see if things dont get better just by reading what you have written in the time...who knows doing something like that may help you think about what you have done and how you reacted vs how you are now...does that help at all? I am not judging you because I have been there. I want to pray for you and all i do know is ... if you forgive him ...your life will get better...not with him but without him unless you seek counseling TOGETHER whether he listens or not...that would a record by a professional that he doesnt listen, or he lies etc...that you can use in court if you needed it too. I am here if you need to chat...sometimes we just need someone to talk to. Sorry if I am rambling or putting my nose where it doesnt belong...just trying to help!! GOOD LUCK!! Good luck to you all May God Bless!
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