For me, a marriage means a partnership where each person is working towards a common goal. Though the division of work may not be 50/50... each person puts in 100% of their effort!
What I look for from a partner is respect, compassion, and honesty. I don't need a hero because I don't need to, or want to, be saved. I want to be myself - an individual responsible for me. And I want a responsible partner who will pull his weight as well. I want someone who will respect me and my ideas. Who doesn't belittle my feelings or thoughts, or desires. Someone who accepts me "as-is" and doesn't try to change me or mold me into what he wants/thinks I should be.
The funny thing about the last part (the whole unconditional love!)... is that I am realizing more and more that is the biggest thing missing from my marriage... on both of our parts. Neither of us loves the other "as-is". We each have a laundry list of conditions - things we want different... and then we can love that person better.
Thanks for posting this... it's good for me to think about what I want from a marriage versus what I'm actually putting into it. That whole "You get what you give" adage... if I want respect... give respect! It's so simple, but when there are resentments and bitterness on the table... it's SOOOO hard.
TWYLALTR!!!
Shannon