Originally Posted by
fulloffaith 
To outsiders prob looked like dream. But I just wanted a true partner, real conversation. I knew it was all sort of a sham, like not living my truth.
I like you have 16 years of marriage (20 altogether) to a wonderful, high functioning alcoholic man. We have four kids together, two by birth, two adopted from foster care. They are 17, 16, 13 & 10.
It has been a good run. We have been best friends a long time. He's a successful professional who looks high functioning. He cooks and helps with the kids. He's a good dad. I still have fun with him. He's just been medicated with booze every night for a few years. The last two year have been hell, though, due to his drinking mainly. We are separated (my request) and trying to figure out what comes next. It is really sad. But it's also wonderful, the house feels so much more peaceful. That gremlin or shadow passed out watching TV is not there to pull me down. I grieve for my husband --- where did he go?
How do you deal with the anger? The feeling that you've just been royally shafted and there's no justice? You look at your kids, and you know that they will grow up knowing that they had a courageous mom who took action to keep them safe. They will benefit from a peaceful home environment. A sane parent who listens to them and doesn't blame or act like a drill sargeant. All that is justice --- for them.
As for you, try to stay busy. And keep posting. It sure helps people like me to know they are not alone. It's an awful business, alcoholism and divorce. Hugs.