Do I just let him go? Im sure that he'll just find some other time to sneak out.
You have NO CONTROL. You CANNOT HELP HIM.
The sooner he drinks himself into oblivion and is out of your home the sooner he MAY find recovery.
All you are doing is
frustrating him
giving him 'excuses' to drink
not allowing him to feel the CONSEQUENCES of his actions (this can be having to leave the house for good, or you and the kids leaving and leaving him to his misery.
You CANNOT help him.
Only he will decide if and when he wants recovery. All the 'talking' in the world will not do him one damn bit of good and will only frustrate him more.
Please find some Alanon meetings or get a therapist or counselor that specializes in addictions and get yourself the HELP you so desperately want to give to him. Your children need one serene, peaceful role model.
J M H O based on my personal experiences of 30+ years in continuous recovery from alcohol and drugs and 27+ years in recovery from my codependent issues (yes some still crop up once in a while, lol)
Love and hugs,