You're neither crazy nor an eff up. No way. You are at 60+ days of fighting for your life, and showing such courage. You are doing everything within your power to beat this, and of course that's going to cause you a lot of anxiety. You are getting stronger and healthier every day without alcohol. It's great that the enormity of what is happening is not lost on you, so try to embrace it and know that it is worth it! And if it helps, stop watching the news! Take good care of yourself physically with nutritious food, exercise, lots of water and treat yourself sometimes! Most of all though, feel proud of yourself!