Finally divorce. How do others handle?
I first posted months ago, and have not checked in for long time. Have been attending alanon live meetings weekly. Have filed for divorce couple wks ago after 16 years. We have five beautiful, smArt, healthy kids (15,13,11,9,7). I am so sad. But I know this is only path that brings me peace and comfort.
My older kids have been attending alateen for about a month, it seems to give them some understanding and an outlet, though they do squwalk about going beforehand. Alanon has helped me tremendously.
A week prior to filing, I called police and ended up getting restraining order. The main concern was driving with kids while drinking. Normally he was pleasant while drinking. But def episodes of anger, picking fights, etc. I say this because this court appointed no contact has made life so much better!!!
He returned to our home in April after 90 days sobriety. This was at the end of an 11 month separation where he did not live in our home. He "visited" daily. He needed to be sober and he honored that agreement, with just a couple of exceptions when he needed to be asked to leave.
Once he was home for a month, after kids and I were thrilled with his return, the aa meetings stopped. The drinking again. He told me he did not think he really had problem, was planning on drinking, but only once in while. He says he only did 90 days aa for me. You guys all know this story. Like many of u, myself and kids lived the crazy train too long!
Finally got courage and strength to walk path that I know is right for me. I know that someday he will find a path to health and wholeness.
Question??? To all others who left, or divorced, how did you keep from getting angry? This life with no contact, no bullish***, and no being blamed is def more peaceful. But raising 5 active kids is a lot of work. I have tons of family (mine) support. His family thinks he drinks a Lot, but not really alcoholic. He has been out of house and known about divorce for three weeks, he is still drinking. I am trying to keep focus on me and stay joyful, yet angry that there is still no justice! I am still taking on so much of the family responsibilities! All of them. How did others cope with these emotions?