Originally Posted by
heres2hope 
Lillamy ~ at this point I'd like to try to work it out while I learn more. The thing is this morning I spoke to AH again and he kept saying how hopeless it was, how ge keeps trying and trying but he is never successful. He refuses to tell meow I can help. He refuses to talk to anyone, refuses to reach out. He keeps saying how he wishes he were dead and that he is upset in the morning because he wakes up. I don't know what to xo anymore.
If you don't know what to do - do nothing. That's doing something, too, ya know! ; )
What you describe is normal for addicts. They won't reach out for help until they are ready to deal with their addiction.
You can't "help" him. But you can support him seeking the help he needs from experts and/or professionals. Pick up a copy of the AA Big Book...the next time he says he's hopeless and wishes he were dead, give him the book and tell him "you may find what's missing in your life in this book".
And go to Al-Anon, no matter how inconvenient it may be for you. If you are going to stay in a relationship with this man, you need to learn some new tools in which to keep your sanity and peace.