Elvis when you said you drank to get the courage to talk to people I could so relate. When I got sober I began to take risks against my fears. Little by little I began pushing myself and I know that this might sound trite but the "smaller" things made the biggest impact. In my head I was like..."look at me, I'm talking to this person w/o feeling self concious" "look at me I'm driving my kids to get ice cream...at NIGHT" "look at me I'm speaking at a school board meeting" "look at me I'm bowling....sober...wow the ball CAN stay out of the gutter" "look at me I'm dating" "look at me I'm dancing...woohoo" "look at me I'm not scared of life anymore" Really honestly I felt like Sally Fields at the Oscars...."you like me...you really like me!" LOL I was "shi**ing rainbows out my ass" (lifted that from an article I just read) I was told I was on a "pink cloud"...hahaaa so what??? life is not easy by any stretch, but much of the time I still walk around as one friend put it "like I have a fu**ing bluebird on my shoulder" almost 5 years later. I have been known to say things like "I'm high on life" and people roll their eyes LOL i'm a dork....what can I say?
sorry if this is OT, as it's not related to the books you mentioned...but your feelings of low self esteem just really resonated with me...
peace