I haven't been on a date in nearly two years - nobody (at all) since XABF and for teh first year it was by choice.
I hope I would date differently now - I work in a male dominated profession and I have some really great male coworkers but most of the single ones are in their early 30s (I'm 37) and the age difference would make me uncomfortable. A -big- part of this is the fact that I'm certain I earn more than most of them. I know it, they know it and I think that for me, it would be really important not to feel that I was footing the bill (big part of my relationship with XABF - do not want to go there again).
I actually had a revelation this week - I've been feeling ready to date and this has been my longest ever dry-spell. I got a lot of male attention in my 20s and steady male attention right up until XABF. Since then, literally NADA. Since I felt ready to start dating again about six months ago, part of me is starting to feel a little bit invisible - but the other day I realized that the crickets in my love life mean ... I'm -not- attracting that "same guy" anymore. That steady stream was a particular type and I've been in recovery for almost two years learning about why that type is attracted to me and vice versa. There are two of these in the office and they have both flirted with me intermittently but pretty much steered clear of me in any real sense.
So. I'm not attracting healthy males yet - but I'm also not attracting the same person that I've been attracting since my early 20s. God willing I'll actually be ready to identify a healthy male should one ever cross my path again. And if he asks me out on the first date and ups it to dinner, I'm pretty sure I'll want him to pay. I'll get the next meal, happily - but it will be important for me to have someone buy me dinner.
Thanks for the post, it's got me doing some thinking.
SL.