Someone in true recovery knows and finds it very hard an painful to think about. Some do the steps faster than others so it may take quite a while to get any type of amends. I was sitting around 'waiting' for mine and nada. I still think it will come but mine is a tough one for him because it dealt with deeply personal stuff between he and I. The last thing he wants to deal with fresh out of rehab! Ha.
Then I read something that people who hurt us do so because they are in pain and the goal is to understand why one is hurt (or both) rather than to 'even the score'. Shaming them because of the hurt they caused isn't good either.
Patience. Patience.
I'll chime in with the forgiveness part. It is HUGE and took a weight off my shoulders. It also helped me see him as a vulnerable and overwhelmed person and reminded me to be compassionate. I lost my compassion due to lots of anger. I didn't like the anger or resentment building. It hurt only me. When I forgave, I felt my kinder nature returning in general.
This thread has helped me understand too, particularly the ones who have been through recovery.. thanks for sharing your experiences btw.