For a long time I also dwelt on the issue that my XABF had no consequence and was just going happily along to the next victim while I suffered. Then he had to come by my house to get his old vehicle running. Could not make it work and was stranded at 9 pm. He called everyone he knew (and his family also lives in town) and NOT ONE person would help him. He left on foot. It was an epiphany for me. There are dozens of people I could have called in that situation. He had not one soul. There I saw that his choice to continue drinking had a price for him, not just his victims. He had nothing in the world, not even friends. Sad. I did not relish in a sense of victory with this realization, I just thanked my HP that I was off the tilt-a-whirl and felt deep sadness for him.
ps. then I had to take a bat and beat my codie responses to submission and not give him a ride