Originally Posted by
yorkiegirl 
I would love to hear and learn from you how and what you've done to alter some of the family patterns! How does your teens deal with and cope with their situation? As a parent, I really want to minimize the negative effects of alcohol addiction (active or sober) in our lives, in our daughter's life. I'd love to hear your wisdom and experience.
Our situation is different than yours as it isn't their father who has addiction problems (other issues though).
I find that keeping the lines of communication open is important.
I say a lot - "This is what I think based on my life experieces but it is your life and ultimately you will have to live with the consequences of your decisions."
Accepting that as they get older they will make their own decisions, some of those decisions -- good or bad -- will be based on family of origin issues whatever they may be.
I feel that I have spent my entire parenthood reminding myself that my job is to love them but TO LET THEM GO and lead their own lives. It is really hard to do. You can't micromanage your children's lives (once they reach a certain age) any more than you can manage the addict's life.
My daughters so far are doing "great".
I'm sure they will hit their own bumps in the road but it looks like they may be slightly different than my bumps.
I don't believe in the "I just want my kids to be happy".
Life is complicated, hard and sometimes sadness/bad situations are unavoidable.
I try to give them the best tools that I know to deal with these issues as they crop up so they can emerge as unscathed as possible.
I also wish for them plenty of love, laughter and peace along the way.