Curious - in those moments of lucidity and probably humiliation when hearing of her night-before antics, have you ever suggested this has become a problem bigger than the two of you can solve alone?
I took my opportunity during a very contrite morning after a binge and my teenager waking him up passed out curled around the toilet - in their bathroom no less. It was the most frank I had ever been. I told him this is enough, I won't live this way any longer - heck no one would - and he could either get his crap together and face the truth or our relationship is over. I remember grabbing his face and looking him square in the eyes and saying "it is time to acknowledge that you no longer have control over your substance use".
It did get him in the rooms of AA. But I left anyway about 2 months later because boy howdy was he mad at me! He even told the group for the first month he was only there because his wife made him go. Today, he's 9 months sober, we live separately but continue to see each other and so far, seem to be getting along, and I am a year into my Al-Anon program and feeling pretty darn good.
Last edited by Tuffgirl; 08-11-2011 at 08:43 AM.
Reason: typos!