All I wanted to add I guess is this:
You found your AF's behavior totally unacceptable and understandably so. I think that if you want, for your well being (not bc you hope it will change your F) to tell him "I felt very upset by your behavior this weekend and don't appreciate how you treated me" that is MORE than okay.
I think that sometimes the "does this need to be said?" notion gets taken too far with A's and we don't speak up about unacceptable behavior bc they can't take it? we don't want to deal with their reaction? who knows why.
I know this. Whether it makes any difference or not, when someone is completely out of line with me, I let them know it. I say it simply, say it once and don't look for a conversation about it. But unacceptable behavior is unacceptable no matter if you're an A or not and if you wish to tell your F that you have every right. Maybe no one has told him that bluntly and he thinks it's acceptable to continue to bully and bother everyone bc everyone is afraid to upset him and stay silent.
In my in laws family my FIL is much like your F. And no one says a peep bc it will upset him. It's insane. When he's acted horribly in MY house I do speak up and it's made me the enemy to my in laws but that's something I can live with. I respect myself enough to set limits in my own home and I see nothing wrong with saying what I find acceptable in terms of how I am treated.
I hope that your H will take the opportunity for rehab that he is being given and use it to the fullest extent.
Thinking of you!