hwsm, I have followed your posts because your story is so much like mine. Please do yourself the favor, and push yourself to the AlAnon meetings. Someone who has been going a lot longer than I have said to me, "I know you're trying to find a way out of going tonight. Go and take your medicine." Trust us, they will give you the tools you need to help with the depression, the obsessing, and the feeling you have lost your soulmate. Go on Amazon and get some AlAnon books; I get the used ones, and they are fine. Do your reading for 1/2 hour in the morning, faithfully.
No one in my life can believe how this man affected me; I was happy, content, loved life, and he ruined my self-esteem with his horrible criticism and a personality that went from charming and wonderful to ignoring, mean, and downright cruel. I have never cried so much in my 54 years, truly, and over what? Someone who really doesn't appreciate me. You must fill the hole within yourself; I know, you don't think you have one, but we codies all do. When you are content within yourself, you will not think that he is the only thing that will give you happiness, and his magic will dissipate. You will see him for what he is. Trust us...
