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Old 08-08-2011, 01:26 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
TakingCharge999
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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Originally Posted by bruingirl View Post
Duqld, thanks so much for posting this! This is such a great reminder to me to keep chugging along in my own recovery. Towards the end of our relationship, XABF started casually seeing another girl and officially got together with her ONE week after our "breakup". He is still with her today.
bruingirl XABF did the very SAME thing. And the girl is also very young, without family here either.

When at some point I believe "oh how happy they are" I remember how we were going somewhere and the girl was going to meet us at someone else's house. XABF had a car and was able to drive and he NEVER offered to go get her.

She was on her way taking buses, walking at night, etc.

He was sitting there drinking and whining about how it was getting late and we had to wait for her.


And to think I was this guy's girlfriend at the time (what was I thinking??)



Even people making efforts to change take months or years, someone who does not believe he has to change (much less taking any action) is the same person (no wait, worse) period. I see this from my point of view: I went out with like 10 guys, I was no better with the next one either. I was just a more pathetic, sadder, more codependent, more confused version of myself.

When I asked my therapist about why men can't seem to spend much time single, she said that its due to unresolved Mommy issues. (Just like I was going from bf to bf, now that I am resolving Daddy issues I no longer "need" a partner to try to fix my issues and inevitably fail again).

I am the one moving on because I am becoming free of the painful past. Knowing this helped me take me out of the "those people know how to live life and I am a failure" thoughts that enslaved me for too long.
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