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Old 08-08-2011, 12:45 PM
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theuncertainty
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
I am UP today...

First because I have taken steps to start doing stuff I want to do - for myself, not because my sister is making me get out, not because it'd be cool for DS, but because I WANT to.

Second because I've reconnected with several old friends, who are turning out to be great 'new' friends.

Third, I splurged on a new haircut and color(s) for myself. I love it! (And am trying really hard to not beat myself up about having spent that money on ME.)

Last, Fred (the friend XAAH told me hated me) came to the house this weekend to help with the pick up and drop off of DS for his Daddy Weekend. DS's leaving for the weekend was uneventful - XAAH's girlfriend came alone to get DS and she had no idea who was with me at the door. But there was some one with me at the door so she was QUIET. - No rants about me being unreasonable or stupid or not seeing how much XAAH loves her.... (ttthhhhpt)

The 'fun' part was when Fred and I drove to pick up DS from XAAH's house yesterday. The look on XAAH's face... indescribable, nearly delectable. Fred went to the door and let me stay in the car; XAAH came to the door with DS. It is THE FIRST time XAAH has ever looked from the person at the door (usually my Sister or BIL) to see if I was in the car. When he saw that I was there, in Fred's car, therefore with Fred, (i.e. Fred didn't just happen to stop by to say howdy at the same time I came to get DS) his face went ashen. He literally staggered a step back.

Maybe I shouldn't be so happy about that 'oh f-, I'm caught with my hand in the cookie jar' look on XAAH's face. But I am.

Meanwhile, I'm pulling together all of my journal notes on XAAH's shenanigans (3 different locations: paper calendar - ***** calendar and calendar/note pad on iPad and phone - gotta stop doing that. 1 - just 1 calendar.) If nothing else, the stunt he pulled for his CA trip and his lies to and/or his visitation supervisors' lies and making DS lie about the visit should be enough for further modification.




So, now in mental review of the past week or so... I'm feeling a bit like I'm manic depressive or bipolar... I'm either UPPPPP or DOOOWN. It's been so long.... I just want to be normal. This doesn't feel normal yet.
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