Alone22...
It's so confusing and hard to figure out boundaries. I struggle with my urge to talk to people about what is/isn't acceptable behavior to me. Today I find myself struggling with an urge to talk to my AH (yet again, really?!?!) about how his drinking behaviors are unacceptable to me. I mean really?!?! I want to talk about it again, why? I think the more important issue for me to figure out is my reaction/choices if/when he is drinking. What am I going to do to get myself away from the unacceptable behavior? Because talking about it with AH has not, and will not, get me anywhere. He is who he is. And he will do what he does. Me talking to him about it... is me trying to control/change him.
Have some back up plans in place for the wedding... Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C... be prepared is really all you can do. You know from the past what behavior(s) are likely... figure out what your action will be in accordance with each. Being "trapped" around alcoholic loved ones during family events (wedding, funerals, etc)... means I have alot of "exit excuses"... ie. having to go to the bathroom, going for a walk outside... whatever I need to do to get away from the toxic garbage and refill my "serenity" bank.
Hope some of that helps... thanks for letting me share!
Shannon