Matt--I just read this from a book written by Pia Mellody:
"Blaming handcuffs you to the person who abused you and leaves you dependent upon that peron's changing for you to have any recovery. This gives power to the offender and renders you, the victim, helpless--without the ability to protect yourself or change. Blaming will probably keep you stuck in the disease and is likely to make it even worse."
I understand from what you say you have accepted your responsilbility--but if you are still ruminating over it, maybe you haven't accepted it completely....which is necessary to move forward. Yes, what she did sux--acknowlege it and and know that you can change you regardless of the actions of others. Become 100% accountable to YOU!
All this aside, glad you are with us!