My brother did this whole deal. A few times. My personal opinion, what I've seen through him is, the mindset and the attitude it takes for someone to get themselves clean cannot happen as long as they display arrogance.
3 months out of rehab, my brother grabbed a beer with lunch at a bbq. He was also an alcoholic before a drug user. My family says "do you think that's a good idea?" someone who takes recovery seriously will at least be open to that suggestion. My brother says "jeez, I can handle ONE beer". <--- that's when I personally knew he wasn't gonna be clean long. took the rest of my family a lot longer to remove the benefit of the doubt.
How quickly an addict goes from "ill do anything to make it up to you" to "Jeez I can handle this, get off my back!" Reminds me of the old adage "pride cometh before the fall"
My dad asked my brother to clean out the basement. every day he said hed do it. 3 months later, never touched it.
Hang in there. Sometimes the worst part is that we cant make a decision for our family member to protect them. They have to chose to protect themselves just like an addict has to chose to get well. I'm in the same situation. You aren't alone.