After talking with him last night I have mixed emotions regarding how bad he really wants it. On the positive side he said he feels like he needs more help. That even though it is hard to admit it, it has a hold on him and he can't seem to stop with just AA. (paraphrased but you get the point). He seemed very sincere, however what followed has my head questioning how really ready he is. He has decided to continue working and then start after his planned fishing trip (short trip, but something he loves). This trip ends on the 14th. While I can understand his desire to take his trip, it in IMHO, it doesn't show that he is so low and just can't take it anymore. Maybe he gets that it may take a bit of time to find and get into rehab, but it just seems his priority was fishing not rehab. (btw drinking is a big thing on these fishing trips) He was also saying how stuff at work wasn't bothering him as much because he would be out of there soon. His plan was/is to keep looking for a new job while in rehab. Maybe it is the cynical side of me but it felt like rehab was a way to take a nice month long break from work. I thought he would be kind of down last night, but instead was in a pretty good mood. Part of me thinks it could be him feeling some relief that he has decided to take what should be a huge step for him, but yes that other side of me was kind of scratching my head at it too.
I also had a counseling appointment yesterday (thank God). She counseled him for months a while back and then both of us and now just me, so she knows him pretty good. She was very pleased that he has reached out and asked for rehab. She really gets what a huge step this was for him. She highly recommended in patient because of the lack of one on one with out patient plus the quality of the program is just not as good in her opinion. I told AH this, but earlier in the day he went to a PA who recommended out patient. I thought he needed a second opinion from a specialist and he agreed on it. I will be posting a thread on in vs. out since this is all new to both of us. While neither of us likes the thought of him being gone for a month (most likely with no contact) I want him to have the best chance at getting healthy.
Oh and a close family member (really close) is getting married in another state at the end of this month. We had planned to be gone for a week. He says he can't miss it, but I told him his health comes first. But if it is okay to wait for a fishing trip then is it okay to wait until after the wedding?
Lexie we live in CA which has great laws protecting the worker. From what I understand all he has to show them is a note from a doctor that he will be on a medical leave of absence. His GP indicated he would do it. I also believe the Family Leave Act gives a good chunk of time also. He does have some vacation/sick time but not enough to cover it all.
My head hurts and my stomach is in knots, but I do feel better today than yesterday.