Rapidly losing muscle mass...
Over the last several months, I've been watching some very worrying changes in my husband that are consistent with end-stage alcoholism. Aside from all that, I knew that he'd been losing some muscle tone, and at first didn't worry too much about it because he's no longer working in a busy OR where he had constant motion, and before that he worked in a TV shop where he did a lot of lifting. He's always been lean, but used to have a 56" chest and 25" bicep, and you could easily see every well-rounded muscle in his legs.
Obviously, he used to be able to make me (of 39" chest and 15" bicep) feel awfully small, which is something I've always enjoyed. Lately I've been feeling larger and larger, and at first thought I must be feeling fat because I had a baby eight months ago and I was still a couple jeans sizes larger than I was pre-baby. Now I'm back in pre-baby jeans, and have been going to yoga regularly so my measurements are improving rapidly even from that (by the way, I highly recommend yoga to those dealing with A's and need something that really will force you to relax). Next to him in bed or hugging him, I still felt nearly the same size as him (he's also 9" taller).
It wasn't until tonight that I really got a full appreciation for the extent of the changes. After he'd gone to bed, he came wandering back out in his underwear. Part of it is probably because he's been drinking tonight (first night in a while since we've been chronically out of money), but I was struck speechless by his appearance. His arms and legs are close to the same size as mine now, and his skin hangs loose where well-developed muscle used to be. His chest is sunken, and his head looks far too large for his body. The only thing big about him is his belly, which isn't overly huge, but can be likened to my 4-month baby bump.
I know he's in bad shape -- and I really wish he could see what I saw just a short while ago, as opposed to what he looked like even a year ago. I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this kind of muscle loss with their A's? While I'm not a medical professional, I am a health writer, and I know enough to know that that does not bode well for his heart, or for his alcohol tolerance. I've accepted that there's no road back, but I'm still feeling my way on the road forward.