Hi,
Lately I am having a hard time accepting alanon as a good tool for me to heal. I have gone to many meetings and I see how it helps, but there is something that continues to turn me away.
It isn't talked about very often, but are there any others out there who don't feel anonimity is always kept, or that everyone is there for the right reasons?
The AA/Al-anon family where I live is relatively small, and my abf has been involoved now for about seven years. A lot of that time was while he was with his xgf who loves to be involved in everything. She broke up with him last summer and about two months later our relationship became romantic. Once she found out he wasn't going to come crawling back to her she did everything in her power to hurt him. She was so involved with all of his friends from AA that he no longer felt like he had a support group and had to replace his sponsor and find a new home group.
I don't feel comfortable attending the alanon meetings because I am not sure who she knows, what meetings she will be at, and aside from that, if she is so involved in al-anon then I don't want to be. She is very selfish and puts her needs before their daughters, it all makes me sick.
I don't know what to do anymore, and unfortunately Al-anon isn't somewhere I feel safe. I have gone but it is hard for me to open up when I don't know what will be relayed. The anonimity isn't always there. Has anyone else been through something like this?
I just don't know where to turn, other than here
