Saying this:
MY decision to start attending Al-Anon is to learn how to best live my life in an emotionally healthy manner. I told him that I do love him, but his disease, no matter what state of recovery, active drinking, etc. he is in, will always be present in our lives.
is incredibly powerful! Good for you!
When I started going to AlAnon, I sneaked out, because I didn't want to trigger an emotional backlash or a drinking binge. Gee, was I dumb! He did both anyway, regardless. And when I did tell him I was going to AlAnon, he said he'd just stop drinking, so I wouldn't have to go anymore. He lied.
Yes, AlAnon is for your own personal growth.
You make the decision to stay with your partner, not some arbitrary group that doesn't even know your last name! Please report back, and tell us how it went!
- Sylvie