Originally Posted by
breakingglass 
well at least i had 3 months of relief, happiness, contentment. but my AH fell of the wagon and is struggling again to "get well". he fears the cost of having to go to rehab again. (we are not one of those who can just waltz in and out of those places and have the state or the government pick up the tab). so given that and the fact that he's been laid off for 2 years is making the horse get to the water that much more difficult.
there is another issue here that i'm hoping someone can help me with. he is manic and has severe depression and he NEEDS meds for this. his GP gave him one month worth of a new med that really seemed to work for him..... he was happy, content and could deal much better with keeping away from the vodka. the GP won't help him any further. now he is a mess and i dont know who or what kind of doctor to call. i dont know where to begin to get him the proper treatment...... do i get a psychiatrist, an MD, a theropist?? i hate all of this.... its depressing me now and that is all we need, a house of gloom....... i'm getting angry at him now and my willingness to be supportive and nuturing is turning into desire to lash out at him and i dont mean it...... i just am so tired of dealing with this..... i'm 52 years old and its time for me to have some peace and happiness in my older years. someone on here said that they don't label babies when there born and stamp "alcoholic" on thier forehead..... but what about a grown man? am i that stupid that i didn't see the signs before saying "i do"??? i feel so damned trapped i just want to run and run as far as my arthritic legs will take me!
oh and i might mention that AA is not an option. he went to a couple of meetings and the religious part of it totally turned him off. as it would me. so please dont' suggest that option. he's so not going to go for all the touchy feeling hugging and circle making kind of stuff....
Hi Breakingglass, this is my first post here. First I'm 54 and we're not old. lol
I wanted to address your husband's bipolar. I have bipolar II and my family doctor was completely useless when it came to meds. Through research I found a med that worked for me. He perscribed it but not at the right dosage. It helped my depression but I was still suicidal. My daughter took me to the ER. From there I got a referral to a psychiatrist who increased the dosage and added one for sleep (non addictive). I feel great now. My suggestion is to that your husband go to the ER. They may also be able to help with referrals to alcohol groups, etc.... He should at least come away with a perscription. I'm in Canada and this is the quickest way here to getting to the top of waiting lists. At the ER I saw a social worker. I was worried that I'd be admitted. If this worries your husband tell him that they will admit you only (here anyway) if you are a danger to yourself or others.
My husband is an alcoholic and he used to say he didn't like AA. Most rehabs are based on AA principles. He goes to a group now that is not connected to AA but I'm not sure if it's secular - he won't discuss it with me which is fine. I think there are threads on this forum talking about groups other than AA. My husband made phone calls and did his own research.
I'm at the point myself that I'm ready to leave. I've detached myself from him but I don't think detachment should include anger and I don't know how to detach when faced with a verbally abusive drunk. That's what brought me here.
I fully relate to feeling trapped and it's taken me 19 years years to get to the point that I'm done and done. I'm worried about making it financially but at this point I don't care if I live on Kraft Dinner. We're never too old to make a change.
By the way, I knew mine had a drinking problem before I married him. My father was an alcoholic but my husband was binge drinking. Since it wasn't every day I figured he wasn't as bad. An AA member came to our house and educated me - he told me he was indeed and alcoholic. I still married him. Don't feel stupid.
I hope that we will both find some answers here.