it's time for him to stop "being scared" about doing a different job, step up to the plate to find work and get his act together. Isn't he concerned about the mortgage and the bills?
it sounds like you are carrying the whole burden both mentally and physically. that is very selfish and not fair, it's driving you into the ground, trying to keep all the balls in the air.
who is concerned for how YOU feel and how stressed you are??? (he should be, ya think)?. i hope you find a counselor for yourself through your insurance plan. it will help you immensely.