I struggle with letting go and watching him kill himself to a damn bottle...
And if you don't "Let Go" you will still be "watching him kill himself to a damn bottle."
This is guilt you are placing on yourself with all the damn "what if's."
There are no "what if's" that you could or could not have done. They are ALL HIS.
Your being 'supportive' or 'not being supportive' upon his return from Re-hab had NOTHING to do with his lack of continuing in recovery.
He CHOSE not to use the tools he had been given. His CHOICE, his CONSEQUENCES.
Now you can sit there and continue to 'guilt' yourself and be miserable, or ............................ ACCEPT that you did all you could (and you did) and MOVE ON with your own life, before you destroy yourself.
Above not said in meanness, J M H O based on my own 30+ years of continuous recovery from alcohlism and 27+ continuous from being co dependent.
Love and hugs,