Morning Glory!
I see what you mean about the different angle. What occurred to me as I read it was that the employer should be telling this to your son.
A re- direction such as " It is a lovely thing to say, I hope that you let him know how you feel as he is the one responsible for his behaviour. I know this would make him feel great." This will show him who is "in charge" of your son.
Similar to what someone else said in regards to not taking HIS credit ( or blame). I assume that he is over 18 and an adult. I think that if a minor the slant would be a bit different (considering legal liablitiy and all).
Congratulations on identifying the problem and questioning your impulses! That is so healthy :hamburger
Action Girl