Originally Posted by
bruingirl 
I did have a question about Al-Anon though. I had been going pretty regularly right after the breakup with XABF, and it helped me GREATLY. I did eventually stop going though because I realized that the only qualifier I had was XABF, and since he's pretty much out of my life I felt at some point like I wasn't qualified to go to Al-Anon anymore. I also sort of was unsure whether or not I could talk about non-XABF problems. Because while XABF makes up some portion of the pie, so do many non alcoholism related issues in my life.
I didn't start going to Al-Anon until after I had broken up with my XABF. I have no contact with him, and I am moving on with my life. I still go to Al-Anon at least once a week.
There are members of my home group that are no longer with their qualifiers - due to breakup, divorce, or death - and there are members in my group whose qualifiers have been sober for the last 20 years.
There's no expiration date. The program isn't about the alcoholic, it's about us, and so if you feel it helps you to attend, then by all means - go!
Heck, I heard a story about someone who was attending Al-Anon even though she never knew an alcoholic in her life, simply because she liked the whole approach to life that Al-Anon taught.
Al-Anon is a group of people who are trying to improve their own lives by working on themselves, and one of the favorite topics of my home group is to discuss how the Al-Anon principles can be applied to
anything else, whether or not there is an alcoholic involved. Most of my sharing now talks about how I deal with situations at work, and I'm not the only one either.
If you feel Al-Anon is helpful in your life for
any reason, you are welcome. It's a group of people journeying to their own recovery together, regardless of where they're starting from.