Yeah I agree that some of the above posts seem harsh but have taken them as they are meant for my good. I hope?? And I assume they are just written rather quickly and to the point as an answer is probably so clear to people looking in from the outside and not as clear to me.
I know what the "right" thing to do is like many of the posts have stated, but it doesn't mean I like it. And like you mentioned TakingCharge, I feel like I still need help with dealing and have a long way to go in my recovery.
I know you all will be really disappointed but I happened to read his wisdom laden status of the day and it was, "It is true that when one door closes, another opens. It's the hallway that is the real b!tch". Made me feel sad and hurt all over again, because I felt he was referring to me. But you all are right and I need to start learning to STOP touching the hot stove over and over again/ going to the hardware store for bread...the whole shebang! I just need to cut the cord.
It's just sad for me. I feel like I'm so used to giving him and everyone the benefit of the doubt. And the fact is that I still love him and miss him very much, even when I KNOW I would never want to be with him again.
TakingCharge you mention that my problem might be that I feel badly for trusting a jerk, but my problem is just the opposite I think. I spend so much time thinking that genuinely their is some good inside him that I am always willing to forgive and willing to get caught up in the idiocy and check up on him because I think the good will seep through at some point. But that really just makes me the idiot I guess?
It's also really interesting that you bring up therapy TakingCharge, because I've actually been meaning to post a separate thread about that for some time now. Like I said, I think I have a far ways to go and feel like a lot of the changes going on in my life right now have been very overwhelming. I REALLY REALLY have been wanting to start seeing a therapist but have been unsure of how to approach everything because I can't afford it at the time. Anyway I'm actually just going to post this in a separate thread now, so the two don't get mixed up.
Thanks for listening.