No one should ever have to go through what you are dealing with. It is cruel, demeaning and demoralizing ... and something you and your children don’t deserve.
Trying to co- parent with an active angry alcoholic has to be one of the toughest challenges there is. You are caught between trying to protect your children and give them a healthier family ... all while riding the roller coaster of promises to change ... followed relapses veiled in deceit, while being on the receiving end of endless blame, denial, lies, anger and manipulation.
A sad situation so overwhelmingly frustrating because, when you share children, it is almost impossible to completely severe ties from this insanity due to custody issues. All while you live in fear of your children’s potential unsupervised visitation with an out of control alcoholic, someone determined to unfairly make you seem like the bad guy and attempting to label you the controlling irrational parent to divert attention away from his own failings.
You have come to the right place - people on this forum understand the insanity and cruel games of alcoholic manipulation that you are dealing with. Evidently his parents and others around him don’t begin to understand how brutal and destructive addiction is to those closest to the alcoholic. It is sad you cannot get his family’s support and compassion ... but you will find it here on this forum.
Keep coming back to SR for knowledge, support and understanding. You and your children do not deserve this life ... and you have done the right thing to start making changes for a healthier future.