Hi Tony - welcome
Bottom line, unless I have mental clarity (for which I need to stop drinking) I am going to go bankrupt by next month and I am seriously worried for my health.
Maybe it's best to turn that idea on its head Tony?
Stop drinking and you'll get that mental clarity
I waited for a lot of conditions to be fulfilled, so I could quit - but it never happened.
There was never a good time to quit
I believe action is the key Tony - you don't have to understand it, or be ready for it - that's head talk to try and throw you off, to keep you drinking - you just need to do it.
Get some help - see a Dr, a counsellor, go to an ER, visit a recovery group meeting...even if you've done these things before, anything must be better than the life of chaos you're leading.
just do whatever it takes to stop drinking.
Everything else falls into place from there
D