Old 07-26-2011, 08:37 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
StarCat
Today is a New Day
 
StarCat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,766
I broke up with XABF over Christmas vacation when he was still in rehab.
There was no way I wanted him anywhere near my apartment every again.

In my case, since I didn't have access to his mother's home (where he was legally residing) and all the things he left at my apartment that were of significant importance to him (credit cards, medication, etc) had already been moved to his mother's house or his car, I took my time pulling things off the wall and boxing them up. (There were lots of breakable things, I used up three Sunday newspapers, the boxes I got free from the local grocery store - they had nice partitioned ones as well, which were especially useful for the breakables). All his clothing went in trashbags (I used up an entire box of them).
I was considering different ways to get it to him without ever having to take it there - drop off at his car at work, put it in a storage unit, etc - when my therapist recommended a rather reasonable moving company who would move any quantity of items without a minimum charge, and would even donate them to a charity (they were located immediately next to one).

I picked the day and emailed XABF that his belongings would arrive that particular day, including the time range. He emailed back that I should just get rid of everything I didn't want to keep in the apartment - manipulation, yes, so I replied back that the moving van would arrive at his mother's house first, and if delivery was refused, they would continue onward and donate everything to the Salvation Army.

The moving company was great. I explained the basics of the situation (I didn't go into detail, I think I simply mentioned that it was an ex-boyfriend with currently mild stalker tendencies and I didn't want to encourage him). I filled out two sets of the paperwork for their files - one in case it was delivered to his mother and the other in case it was refused and donated instead, with XABF's address filled out so they'd send him the information for the value of the donation for his tax return (since he's always strapped for money, I felt that was important).

I paid the mover in cash, in advance. It cost me about 1/3 of my tax return, but it was worth it to me.
XABF has bad lungs, so hiring someone to help him move his stuff seemed like the right thing to do. I knew it would hurt him to have all his things arrive, because that was yet another sign that the odds of us getting back together again were dropping dramatically, but I had a clear conscience knowing that I did everything in my power to make it easy on everyone - including me!

I spent the other 2/3 of the tax return on adopting a kitten.
StarCat is offline