Hi all,
I got a phone call that made me nervous. My son started working last week at a new restaurant in town. He has been working long days, 10 to 12 hours and getting paid $10.00 under the table.
I was paged by the owner today and she went on and on about how wonderful my son is and how he is such a hard worker. She said she had never seen anyone in her life work as hard as he does. She said they just tell him what they need and he just does it and knows what he is doing. She said she was worried that someone would take him away from them. She told him in a month or so they would really make it worth it for him to stay there and work. She said he could really be making a lot of money somewhere because he works so hard. She also told me how well mannered and polite he was. They also gave him a key to the restaurant.
Ok, now imagine me on the phone, lol. I just kept saying, "Oh that's wonderful. I'm so glad it is working out. Yes he does have a lot of energy. Thank you and so on." Throughout the conversation I was thinking, "Oh my God, they gave him a key." Oh I hope he doesn't relapse and go into work drunk. I hope he doesn't use the key and take things from them." I was also thinking that it was just 2 months ago that I picked him up off the streets and they are really taking a risk here.
So I guess because she talked to me I'm feeling a little guilty for not telling her of the risk and also will feel really embarassed if the whole thing falls apart. Up until now his addiction did not affect my contacts in my community. He always did his thing somewhere else.
Don't misunderstand me. I am really proud of my son, but I also know that he is really new to recovery and anything is possible. I also know that this has nothing to do with my life and it's his life. I felt that way until I talked to his boss on the phone. Now I feel like it's a reflection on me somehow and that I'm responsible to make sure he doesn't do anything to them. I don't think I'd feel that way if he didn't live with me, but I have to take these phone calls. So I know I'm worried about a future that may never happen and today is just fine so I better just STOP IT
Hugs,
MG