OK I knew I couldn't do it. I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow and I HAD to know.
He had a "friend" text me a few weeks ago, so I texted the "friend" so see how my XABF was doing. I haven't seen him in a month and wanted to know. I was hoping that the reason I didn't hear from him was because he was working on recovery. I know, I know. I still have the fantasy that losing me would make him "come to his senses". The ace in my back pocket was "if you loved me enough......you would quit" Boy am I dumb.
So I texted him - basically that I would always love him and I realized that I couldn't fix things between us, so I was working on fixing me instead. He replied:
"Do what u have to do baby. But I don't do alone well. Things are not getting better here on my end."
so.......
I borrowed this from Groomer because it was perfect.
"Whenever you are tired, and you have had enough, and you want to tell it all to me, I am here." Plus I added an I love you. I thought it sounded good.
This was his reply:
"If u are rite about me & I am that worthless, than maybe that day will come & u and everyone else can tell each other how right about me u all were. But I know u are trying - so thnx 4 that. I am getting ready to leave for a pool party. I will think about all u have said. I miss u. I love you"
Will it ever sink in? Yeah, that's what I waited all this time for. Just so I could sit around and high-five everyone that we were right about him. But hey, have fun at your pool party a$$h0le