...and because I was weak, selfish, and thought i could control the situation and "go back to what we were," I let my drunken wife continue to live with us and my daughter got to remember even more.
Now, at 15, she's pacing being a drunk just like her mother was. She's experimented with pot and alcohol (and may still be), she cuts, she has bad friends who make bad decisions, she's self-destructive and she's promiscuous.
That's what I got for not wanting to be lonely. That's what I got for being an enabler. That's what I got for being in denial about reality.
What do you want for your kids?
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
loveurself 
As I laid in bed last night with my 1 year old boy to my right and my 3 year old girl to my left, tears started streaming from my eyes. My daughter reached over and said, “Mommy, you got water on your cheeks” and wiped my tears with her hand and my 1 year old sat up looked at me and gave me his blankie. They are precious. Good thing, they won't remember any of this when they are older.
My AH and I are separated for about 2 weeks now. I’m living at our home while he’s staying with his parents. There is a no contact in place against him due to a domestic call which led up to this separation so we have not talked other than the kid’s schedule through a 3rd party. I was able to keep it together until last night. After the kids fell asleep, I got some alone time and cried some more. I miss having him around but I didn’t miss all the mess that came with it. Was I possibly crying because I know we could never go back to what we were?