It had more of a mental affect on me, It changed who I really was and what I really stood for, It controlled me, abused me and made me act crazy, it made me act in a way that I am ashamed of today
BobbyJ, don't be so hard on yourself. There is no need to be ashamed. You did the best you could with the tools you had, as we all did.
Forgiving myself was one of the hardest things I ever did.
And I'm starting to get to the point where I wouldn't change anything in the past no matter how bad it was. If it was changed I might not be where I am now.
YOur friend,