I always thought I hid it from the kids. Yes, they saw it, but mommy covered alot of it up...She made excuses, She covered it, She denied it, She did alot of weird things but everyone was happy and we were a normal family...
So I thought.....13 years later my eyes got opened up, my heart got broke, the stories poured out from my daughter, I dropped to my knees, lost my family, lost my relationship with my daughter, lost my marriage and somewhere I lost me
It had more of a mental affect on me, It changed who I really was and what I really stood for, It controlled me, abused me and made me act crazy, it made me act in a way that I am ashamed of today
With the help of Alanon and working the steps, I have my eyes back open....
I did not hide it from the kids like I thought I did, I played right into the game
of alcoholism....
THANK GOD! I have the relationship back with my daughter and I have learned
what an awful diesase that it is and how it changed me.......
So to the parents that think your hiding it or the kids cant see it or they are not old
enough to understand.....Do yourself and the kids a favor..Get your Axx to Alanon & Begin to soul search yourself!! Fast & Hard....Wake up & pull your head out of denial!!
It effects you more than you think it does. (That is part of denial & learning about you)
Think about how much time you spend in one day or one month, dwelling, crying,thinking, acting as a servant, hiding, pretending, over reacting, moody,fighting, anger, depression, embrassment, rages, raising your voice, making good decisions or bad ones, flying off the handle, forgetting...due to living with that alcoholic spouse....
It will amaze you, if you really soul search yourself!!!
If you think you have problems now and continue to pretend the kids are okay.
Well, wait for a couple of years, then you can deal with a messed up kid that has
emotional scars from living in a home of an alcoholic or living with mommy that is
an emotional basket case, like me......
This thread really triggered alot in me. Guess, I needed to hear it today.
When I get wobbley on my feet and heart, I read threads like this, and
I know Im okay today. I know I did the best thing for me and the kids!
When the kids tell me now, "Mom you have really changed".
I tell them Yes and Im glad you notice, its good to be back to who I really am.
Wish someone would of told me this 15 years ago and I wish I would of known
the damage that alcoholism causes in a family & how it played with my childrens
minds.....
Be Thankful for today........